Everyone's life is made up of "phases" - childhood, school years, college, adult.  But women have so many more phases through which they must pass - having babies, raising children, menopause, and now the phase I have entered - the "empty nest" phase.  This is the one I have dreaded.  I feared the lonely hours, the feeling of uselessness, the idea that this is the beginning of the end.

Babies have a way of quickly becoming the center of your universe.  Your entire life revolves around diaper rashes and pacifiers, then in a twinkling of the eye, you are looking at colleges and then looking at sites for wedding receptions.  Both my girls are grown now and living in other cities - one two hours away in a small Mississippi town, and the other over six hours away in New Orleans.  Now that probably doesn't seem so far to most people, and I guess it really isn't, but it is far enough away that I cannot simply hop in my car and run over to see them.  (Though, Lord knows I try.)  It takes a little planning.  Asking for time off from work, packing bags, being sure the cat has enough food to last.  Even so, that is not the problem.  It's those in-between visits times.

Now it has only been a few weeks that I have been in this phase, and at this point I am not qualified to speak with much authority.  I have no experience at this job of being here.  However, I can say that the time that I feared the most - those first few days - has not turned out at all the way I had expected.  I have survived without the depression, the crying jags - well, there was that one time. But I do believe I am gonna make it.  And not just make it - I want to be a happy, healthy, positive woman that my daughters and my grandchildren enjoy being around.  And to be thankful to God every day for all the blessings He has bestowed upon me.

Because this idea of aloneness did not slip upon me unexpectedly, I have been making plans.  I have warned all my friends that I will need their support and invitations for dinner out.  I have dusted off the sewing machine and checked out classes at the crafts store.  I even have a few Pinterest projects lined up.  So, other than having a husband at home - does that really count? - I know I can be alone without being lonely.  I can take the time for myself that I probably put aside in the past.  Heck, I may even learn a new language and travel some place foreign like Pennsylvania.  

As I begin this new phase, after spending the last 33 years raising children, I hope that writing my feelings will somehow serve as my therapy.  And hopefully, along the way, I can encourage other women who are in this phase as well.